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Surfer God
"Surfer God" is the eighth episode of the second season and the 18th overall. Summary Steve has his doubts when God visits China while Leonard tests a device on Frank and Pony endures a visit from her mother. Plot Frank struggles to keep the attention of his students. Strolling down the nearby corridor alongside Leonard, Baby Cakes notes that he wants to help his father with an upcoming project. Stopping by Frank's classroom, Baby Cakes claims he found a test subject, and Leonard gets the idea to involve Frank with his project, the plan being to help Frank communicate better with his students. Leonard unveils his device—the Haardvark—which is intended to translate Frank's lecture speak to words a typical college student can fathom while he's talking. Frank gives his consent, leading Baby Cakes to think he too has involvement with the project. A worrisome Leonard then tells his son that he must take this seriously and ensure his actions are for its benefit. At Town Bar, Steve shares a drink with Pony and her mother, the latter telling the former how to live her life by enforcing a religious lifestyle. Back at UCI, meanwhile, Frank tests the Cakeses' project, but the device gives him a shock to his humiliation. Afterward, students and staff aplenty gather at the stadium to watch a game of football, but it's interrupted when God, whose appearance and actions mimic those of a stereotypical surfer, descends from the sky and establishes a shrine on the field in the process. Explaining his intention, he announces he wants to see if the people of the world are ready to "take it to the next level" and does so by planning a test run in China, which requires participation from all of the residents. As part of the trial run, he erases all of the old Ten Commandments and replaces them. As part of Commandment 1, which is simply to "chill," he plays a song by the Beach Boys, prompting Steve to escape from the stadium, retreating to the history office and making it clear that he doesn't enjoy the band's music. By now, the campus and Town Bar are teeming with surf- and Beach Boy-related decorations to commemorate God's arrival. During another lecture, Frank is reluctant to another trial run involving the Haardvark, whose flaws Leonard fixed during God's arrival. Baby Cakes pressures Frank to submit, worried that if he doesn't relax, no one goes to "the next level." The second test proves that the device is successful; its output based on Frank's input draws the students into the lecture. Leonard is confident that hard work pays off, but his son claims that the only reason it worked is because Frank complied with Commandment 1. The following day, as the staff and students return to the stadium, Leonard expresses his skepticism regarding God's existence, and Baby Cakes assures his father that following God's will will benefit their project. As God reveals Commandments 2 and 3—"Don't give up on your dreams," and, "Experience the magic," respectively—Leonard becomes angry as he lays eyes on God, doubting that he's the real one. Meeting with her daughter at Town Bar, Pony's mother encourages her to date God, but Pony is hesitant. "All's you gotta do is believe," is unveiled as Commandment 4, and the continued reverence of the Beach Boys continues to irk Steve. Worried that Steve's refusal to chill will interfere with the attainment of "the next level", those at the bar escort him out. At UCI meanwhile, Baby Cakes and Frank decide to take the project into their hands, seeing that Leonard disapproves of God and that this will hinder their coveted attainment God has in store. They ask Leonard to pass the rights of the Haardvark unto them, but he refuses, hatred of God and ego rampant. As Frank scurries off with the Haardvark, Baby Cakes continues to side with Frank, thinking their adhering to God's will is for the better. At Pony's apartment that night, Pony continues to hear from her mother that she should begin dating God. Pony eventually relents, though only to keep her mother pleased. Meanwhile near a stream, Steve decides to construct shelter there, willing to stay away from the Beach Boys' music. He sees his students nearby, and when one plays the Beach Boys, Steve begins attacking them, refusing to adhere to Commandment 1. The students fear that this stubbornness will stop everyone from reaching "the next level", so they take him to God. At God's shrine, God discovers that the reason for Steve's hostility toward him and the Beach Boys is a traumatic childhood memory—when he was at a Beach Boys concert, said band were proven to be murders, which caused Steve to think that all surfers are murderers. Steve's hostility wears out, and he announces that he's cured. The following day at the cafeteria, Pony asks God out, but to her surprise, he makes her pregnant, claiming it's how he dates women. Later at his shrine, he recaps Commandment 5—"I'm lovin' it."—and announces that Commandment 6 is, "Trust me, dude." Afterward, a now-relaxed Steve compliments Baby Cakes' sales pitch of the Haardvark, then tends to a pregnant Pony. As Steve proceeds to chill, Baby Cakes meets with Leonard, informing him that his sales pitch elicited 1,000 orders of the Haardvark. After stating that it wasn't yet licensed, the irked professor agrees to help his son out as long as he complies with his orders. Baby Cakes agrees, but still wants to conform to God's wants, and the Cakeses leave, unaware that Frank is eavesdropping and unwilling to sacrifice the machine. Steve visits God's shrine, and God's book of commandment ideas catches the professor's eye. Scanning it, he's startled by Commandment 7, and begins to think that his anger toward God was justified. That night, Commandment 7 is revealed; it is to "kill your parents." By God's magic, swords are given to everyone but the parents, most of whom are then killed by their sons and daughters. While Baby Cakes becomes nervous about what to do, Steve climbs God's shrine and confronts him, then ultimately kills him. Just then, though, God comes back to life, then announces that everyone failed his test. He reveals Commandments 8 and 9: "Go to the next level: become gods!" and "Resurrect parents (just testing ya before)." Steve's skepticism of God thus hinders the entire world from "the next level" of becoming gods. God then claims his time on Earth is over, and Pony's baby is a stillborn. Glancing around, Pony sees other pregnant females suffer this as well, with her mother hypocritically criticizing her. Taking hold of the Haardvark, God addresses the crowd one last time, then ascends back to heaven. Swords still at hand, an angry mob approaches Steve, and all he has to say for himself is Commandment 1. Trivia * Commandment 10 is, "Don't rape." * Baby Cakes claims he'll "spread a sheet and point powerfully" in an attempt to help with his father's project. These are references to spreadsheets and Powerpoint presentations. * "Shit" once again goes uncensored in this episode. This happens in "Total Validation", and frequently in the following season. * God calling Steve "the new Eve" is a reference to the Biblical story of Eve doubting God. * The way God impregnates Pony and others is both a reference to the Biblical story of the immaculate conception and a sign that God is cheating on Pony. * The fifth commandment is a reference to McDonald's slogan. * Despite God claiming that he'll reveal a new commandment each day, he frequently goes against this; for example, he reveals commandments two and three within moments of each other. * Pony claims she is 22 when conversing with her mother, and she claims that Pony was 14 when she was 22, meaning that the mother is 30. ** One of Pony and Sammy's conversations in "The Perfect Lecture" implies that the former is 20, but the aforementioned claim refutes that, though the conversation in the former episode may not have used exact figures. Brad Neely's Twitter confirms her age as 22.https://twitter.com/bradneely/status/609890045810454528 ** In real life, the chances of a female giving birth at age eight is highly unlikely, as only 12 have done so thus far. * In Baby Cakes' sales pitch, the phrase "talking dead" is a reference to The Walking Dead. Goofs * During the first football game, the announcer shows there are two minutes left, but the scoreboard displays 00:00:00 immediately afterward. Quotes :Steve: The Beach Boys are gross, and so is their music. ---- :Matt: Pemsy, you...your voice makes me mad instantly. ---- :Baby Cakes: I'm gonna spread a sheet and point powerfully... ---- :Leonard: It's the Haardvark see, because kids all talk hard. ---- :Pony: I can't follow God's crazy-hard commandments...or whatever. ---- :God: I can read minds. Pretty cool. ---- :Frank: to wear the Haardvark Get that lip cooker out of here! ---- :Frank: spoken words You may find that lecture resonates with your own experiences. from the Haardvark But check it, grip tight, and y'all be feeling me. Word. :Flip Flop: Is someone talking to me? ---- :continues wearing the Haardvark and attracts the attention of a nearby girl :Girl: This God is cool, just like you! ---- :Steve: on Baby Cakes' sales pitch for the Haardvark It sure is crazy, but I'm lovin' it. :Baby Cakes: Yes, God told me to "I'm lovin' it." ---- :Pony and her mother shop, one shopper comments on the latter :Shopper: It's God's bitch—the bitch of God. ---- :Steve: God...is...dead! ---- :God: Steve is the new Eve; Make him feel shitty for it! Now gimme that! snatches the Haardvark and speaks through it Schnoopies done plugged that, bee-yotch! LOL! ---- Characters Appearing *Anne Hong *Baby Cakes *Bobby *Chinese Precious *Cravid *Crystal *Debra *Eve (mentioned) *Falgot *Flip Flop *Gang Sang *God *Golden *Gwen *Jen *Jetta *Kim *Leonard *Matt *Molly *Pemsy *Pony *Pony's Mother *Richard Nixon *Sammy *Spider *Stacy Megan *Steve *Sturd *Sweater Beard *The Beach Boys *The Dean *The Dean's Assistant *Trouble Bubble *Wendeloquence Gallery Mrs Merks.png|Pony endures a visit from her mother. God2.png|God pays China a visit. Old Commands.png|As part of his visit, he rewrites the Ten Commandments, revealing them one by one. New Commands.png|The last three commandments are revealed just before God ascends back to heaven. Category:Episodes Category:Season 2